Day Seventy-One: Nightmares

We have been traveling for a long time with the intention of finding fun, although it more and more seems like that intention is shifting towards getting away from what is not fun, like scary things and death.  We have mapped our route and found the means to get there, realizing as we travel that scary things and death can find us there, too.  The scary things and death have found a loophole in a dimensional rift and it is only a matter of time before they, too, find the means to get to where we are going.  They may also be looking for fun.

I am tired of running.  I keep getting dragged along with the herd, trying to get away from scary, deadly things, and trying to find as much fun with as many people around while I still can.  It is exhausting.  I stop and tell the others to go on without me.  I am going to rest here and get up to that vantage point to see what’s really going on.  That’s when I notice that their armies are still grouping and I still have plenty of time to catch up with the others, although the pan-dimensional forces are amassing above my people more quickly, and now I feel that my presence is needed to help save them.

Getting dragged along to have fun or get away from something has an exhausting effect, whereas being in a position to understand our power and that of all of the elements at play, as well as having the motivation of helping others, gives us an energy surge.  Sometimes helping others means letting them go ahead and finding your footing so that we may be of better use to them.

But why fight at all?  Who is it chasing us and what do they want?  And how will this fun that we are seeking serve us in all of this?  Is it truly a way of measuring time, as though our seconds before death will be counted by all of the awesome things that we see or do?  I cannot deal with this reality.  It is exhausting.  It is the stuff of my nightmares, where my feet are dragging and I can’t seem to get anywhere fast enough, for good or bad reasons.

In my waking life, I do my best not to plan anything if I can avoid it.  I like to take my life as it comes to me, making decisions on the spot based on the options available to me at the time, although I spend much time accumulating as many options as I can manage.  It means that I am not trackable – to myself, to spying agents, or to the spirit realms above.  I work within the principles of these three realities and I try not to overstep any boundaries.   I will with my intuition and look for the sign posts to guide me along the way.  In this way, I feel that I will be most honest with myself, the others around me and with the spirit world.

I still spend plenty of time dreaming and asking for the alignment of forces to enact certain outcomes.  I know that if I want something, I must first dream it.  Dreaming alone will not engender anything, except for maybe a mutant, still-birth version of what we thought we wanted.  But if I take that dream and carry it with me, watching for the signals from the different worlds in which I live, I will find the path to that dream and it will be for me to walk it if I really want to.  My feet won’t drag unless I weigh myself down with too many wants.  I need to retain clear vision of what I am working with at all times so that I may choose to will what is best for me and for All at all times.


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