Day Sixty-Five: Deeper

When I go into a meditative state, I go to the realm of possibilities.  I don’t often think about what has been and worry about one thing or another.  I go to a place where any one thing that has happened can also happen another way and can become another thing and I go around this realm like I’m shopping for new opportunities.

As a result, experience is paramount.  I must follow opportunities where they may lead.  I know that M is a teacher for me, and therefore I must be one for him as well.  I think that we will do things for each other that no one else can do right now.  Perhaps we will be finished with our lust for each other when either of us gets to be with those people who we have dreamed of.. but for now, we are so drawn to each other with a burning need to feel and to learn something; seemingly impossible to achieve complete satisfaction.

So far, he’s taught me to be more patient and delicate with my messages.  And he is also teaching me the harsh lesson of respecting self and representing self well, all while giving me a place of comfort to learn these lessons.  It is about practicing difficult and compromising positions, but I am here to learn.  I’m not sure yet what I am here to teach him, but I’m sure he’ll know.  I can only hope that we need to learn from each other for a while longer because these lessons feel really good to learn.


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