Some whales beach themselves. Some whales’ hearing organs explode inside their bodies and they fall gently to the bottom of the ocean floor, their deaths never noticed by humans. The ones beaching themselves are the messengers for humanity that we are being assholes and need to stop sonic testing for underwater mineral deposits.
It’s time to stop the lies. Everything is not going to be alright. As Guy McPherson said repeatedly in a recent lecture of his that I watched yesterday morning, “relax, nothing is going to be alright.” It’s true, and it is a relaxing notion, once you come to terms with what it means for nothing to be alright.
I’m tired of living this fake it til you make it lifestyle – I just want to be who I am and not have to overthink everything and second guess my decisions. I made them, now it’s time to move on. And so I went for a walk up the hill yesterday to another secret waterfall and meditated with the hum of the gushing river echoing around the giant rocks surrounding this secluded space. I sat pointing at one of the faces of the biggest boulder (which in my very uneducated estimation I presume to be around 2 tonnes) and I let the pink noise reflect directly at me as I chanted inside my head.
“Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul.”
– Edward Abbey
No one gave me my Transcendental Meditation sound, nor did I spend any significant amount of time trying to learn the practice; I researched the basics and then figured out the rest on my own. While meditating at the waterfall yesterday, I transported through a wormhole in my mindspace to another place inside my third eye, where patterns and shapes reflect and emulate the different tones that I would intone in my mind. I preferred to stick with my chosen one, which I allowed to be channelled to me by the voice that presides over this type of meditation. I’m imagining that the first person to try Transcendental Meditation went about this process in the same sort of manner. And so I sat there, in a trance state, gently considering my current predicaments and how to solve them.
I came up with the very logical solution that it is best to just be myself and enjoy the moment, while continue making decisions. What those decisions are, I won’t tell you. I am very happy to share with you a broad spectrum of my thought process, but there is no need for too many details – they bog us down. *Oh, and for anyone wondering, I don’t post pictures of myself or the places that I go because I am a writer, and as such, would like to entice you to visualize the world as I do, and not just see a bunch of objects. Plus, I prefer quantity over quality, mainly because too many people feel the other way around. Some of us have to be different to save the rest, otherwise we’ll tip over the edge, and I don’t want to be in a free-fall unless I choose to jump.
Sometimes, our needs are not the most important thing. Zenek is so sad about Lucy moving away. Even though his brain is tiny, he has so much love to give, and right now, he has a broken heart. When I got home, I cuddled with him and pet him while he forlornly nestled his face into various nooks around my seated position. He is in need of a friend and I am here to provide. I’ve seen this before with my sister’s female cat who lost her male companion when he died during complications with an operation. She sat in the window, staring out at the world for hours, not wanting to do anything else. She was absolutely devastated – clearly not the same cat as she was before. And things didn’t change until my sister got a new male kitten and he pretty much forced himself into Lily’s little cat heart. When the two of them got separated after my sister’s divorce, I still can’t bear the thought of what they must have felt like being taken to entirely new homes (my sister’s husband kept the cats and eventually gave them away – the horror!!!)
Are we really that important that we should worry about our problems? Or is it time to simply make some decisions and move on. There is a solution to get out of everything… unless we push things too far. I’m hesitant to give anyone the hope that we haven’t already gone too far, but as I keep suggesting, it’s not over until someone yells “checkmate”. Our moves are getting to be more limited and predictable, but we can still fuck some shit up. By that, I mean in a good way, of course; although, we can most definitely fuck shit up in the bad ways, as well. I mean, we’re already on that path. That’s why we’re sitting here, worrying. We’re thinking about all of the wrong moves we’ve made. Well, that’s boring. We already did that and there’s still so much around us and so much still ahead of us. It will be a challenge, but it was always a challenge – that’s why we made bad moves in the past. We learn as we go on, and our opponents have so much to teach us about what is possible and how we influence others’ choices with our own decisions.
As one pertinent example of this, here’s a quote from the Guy McPherson lecture I watched yesterday:
“This civilization, like all others, is characterized by endemic racism, endemic misogyny, and endemic monetary disparity, leading to poverty. And my American acquaintances are stunned that they elect a rich, misogynist racist. Really, that surprises you? He is perfectly emblematic of the culture you inhabit. He is, without question, the best choice. He is the best reflection of that country.”
A choice between fear and hope is an unrecognized choice. We are not allowing ourselves the space for education and integrity. By spending time meditating on where we are now, we can see the synchronicity between the past and the future; see all of the options, and make the best choice based on the flow of our lives within the flow of the universe.