Yesterday, I let go. I unleashed anger on the world via my words and it wasn’t cool. I regretted it right away but I decided not to censor myself. This is a part of the process I am going through. I am human and I will succumb to my emotions at time. And I feel so drained – why this incessant need to hate-ucate the world? We plaster angry messages on our walls and we write angry slogans on placards and bring them to rallies.
Yesterday, I succumbed to the need to unleash. It was unsatisfying.
It was only in meditating in the evening that I regained my footing on what I really want to share, and it’s not anger – it’s love. As I focused on my breathing, sitting on my driveway under the stars, I almost immediately felt like I was being enveloped by the creative essence of love.
As such, today I want to share some thoughts about art, or the creative process, as per some literature I’ve read recently by Peter Coyote:
Art is a form of heightened communication. You begin with an idea, which you act upon with a movement of some sort (keystroke, swipe of a brush, movement of a limb…) You then step back, observe your action, and receive further instruction from what you created, which communicates to you the next movement. In this way, you are creating a map for something that has never before existed. This is the self-reflective process that can be called intuition.
The purpose of art is to help us solve problems in our communication, because we can only go so far with logic alone. When we learn to trust our intuition, we have an edge on those who rely on technique alone. And it is only through education and practice that we create the trust bond with what it is we want to create. We are willing things to manifest when we invest our energy into their creation. The technique doesn’t matter so much as the intent.
When I read hateful, angry posts, I understand where they come from and I allow myself to indulge them for this reason. And because now I, too, have invested my energy into reading the posts, I am contributing to the manifestation of the hateful intention. We must be careful of the world that we are creating and I would like to formally apologize for my contribution to the negative side yesterday.
In saying that, my anger happened. It was an anger based in logic. I am disappointed in myself because I didn’t apply the creative process and I should know better by now. If I had done my due diligence and used both hemispheres of my psyche and my spirit, I would have intended, intuited and offered solutions, which I did not. I was so involved in my anger that I stubbornly refused to explain and suggest for the entire scope of the issues that I presented because I was too bothered to bother. For this, I am disappointed in my lack of follow through. The technique was there; the process happened; but there was no heart in the matter.
Why do I get angry about people wanting to share what they learn? Because they are also sharing the anger that they feel about what they learn. We must all also learn how to learn something without investing ourselves into that thing, only using it to intuit the next action.
To make up for yesterday’s follies, if anyone wants to learn more about another recent presidency that was impetuous and shrouded in secrecy, here is a great essay full of political esoterica.
Let’s keep today’s entry short and to the point, in the spirit of both forgiveness and non-expectation.
My intention for today’s Zen meditation is to allow things to happen, including anger; accept that they happen, and continue on with an appreciation for the whole.